Wednesday, February 18, 2009

South Beach

Where to start with how horrible this place is? I donno.. everywhere! The ppl are cold hearted sluts who only care about the way they look. We spent the last 2 days there at a "historical" "hotel" called the colony. It was all a big joke! Ok so firstly they want $22 for valet parking, when you can park right across the street for free from 12am - 9am.. (u pay like $.25 per 10 minuts any time before those hours). Their staff didnt speak much English (which is to be expected in Miami). The hallways smelled horrible. The room smelled horrible. The elevator made the Tower of Terror look like a dream! When we got into the room (which was on the 2nd floor at the very other end of the hotel that only has an elevator and stairs all the way at the other end) it was just plain nasty! There were lil black bugs flying all over, the bed and pillows where covered in some sort of dirt, the bathroom was tiny's ok? like (3'x5'), the toilet was covered in hair and pee, the floor in the bathroom was black in between the tiles (the wall had white hmm i wonder yuck!), the main floor of the room was hard wood and just so gross that even I wouldnt take my shoes off.. it was covered in dirt and had cracks in it, chips and was unfinished in places.. i am convinced if i didnt leave my shoes on I would have a lovely splinter! There was no phone in the room so if you had a question for the front desk have fun walkin to those stairs (cuz the elevator takes an hour). The desks/tabletops looked like they hadnt been cleaned in years. Then this moring was the worst... so we get up its like 8am.. and someone starts banging and hammering and drilling.. and these walls are paper thin mind you, it was so rediculous! So Adam complained and they said oh yea we'll take care of it.. never stoped! Then when adam went to go get the truck a maid just walked right into the room.. im still sittin in there and like HELLO!! she didnt even knock before entering.. now that is not ok i dont care what kinda sleese bag motel you work at!

And last night we went out to a restaurant on the strip (u kinda have to i guess) at an italian place.. the food was outragously priced (of course) the menu was hardly in enlighs and the coke, well it was they bring you a can and charge u $3.25 for each of em. RIP OFF! I mean c'mon it wasnt even pepsi. The waiter hardly spoke english.. and when you're seated they say "do you smoke?" and when you say "no" they take the ash tray and matches away and look at you like you're disgusting becuz you dont! and then when they ask you what to drink and you dont say a whine or alcohol of some sort again they look at you like "how dare you!" Grand total of about $70.. for fetichini alfredo & chicken parmisane.

Oh yea and while we were walking back to our hotel we passed sum stupid lil slut and overheard her telling her other skanky friends "and I look so good on camera.. so like, I know i would be great at it".. me and Adam busted up laughin loud enuf so she could hear us.

I think i may have said something about this earlier but i have to make my point again.. adams "co'workers" keep telling him how they cheat on their girlfriends/wives and they keep trying to tell him how to get away with it. nastY!

Now you know why I think south beach is such a pile of crap!


  1. Wow! I feel sorry for Adam having to hang around people like that. Love the reference to Tower of Terror. You should have ridden in the elevator I had to ride in at a hotel in Olympia last week. I am pretty sure it was the first elevator ever invented. The poor thing sounded like there were slaves in the basement hauling the thing to the top.

  2. oh no no no no.. this elevator did all that plus it at the lil metal fence that they have on them in Titanic.. and no door covering it so when you get it you can see yourself goin up..

  3. LOL! As for the woman at the Security counter, no, I just stood there and stared at her while we waited for someone else to come help her out. I was like, "uhh... love to help but I dont know CPR and would probably only make matters worse." Its not like she was choking on something solid though. She just had spit go down the wrong pipe. lol